Paid In Full

"Your TPD discharge has been approved."

Those six words landed in my inbox on January 13, 2026. With them, $165,504.31 of student loan debt was gone. Exactly. Down to the penny.

I've been sitting on this story all year because I wanted to tell it responsibly. It's one of the biggest spiritual lessons of my life. But it didn't start with an email. It started with a diagnosis.

Sometimes God's no is part of the good.

In 2019, after months (honestly, years) of trying to figure out what my symptoms were pointing to, I finally had a name for it: chronic fatigue syndrome.

I was angry. Frustrated. Swollen and inflamed. I had gained 30 pounds in three months. I got tired easily. I had dizzy spells and brain fog I couldn't explain. And when I got the news, there was no cure. No magic pill. My health, my well-being, the goodness of my life would depend on what I was willing to give up and how much discipline I had to manage it.

Then came the part that hurt the most. I was told I couldn't have kids. With this diagnosis, having children could seriously affect the quality of my life.

If you know me, you know I like to work. I like to get things done. I like to move and shake. I used to love an intense workout, but not anymore, because pushing too hard sends me into something called post-exertional malaise (a crash in energy and symptoms that can hit hours or even days after physical or mental effort, and can take days to recover from). It even touched what I believed was one of the things God called me to do: leading worship. Everything now required me to manage my energy. (The "stay home and rest" part? As an introvert, I'll admit I didn't mind that.)

So I learned. Slowly. I learned how to take care of myself and improve my quality of life. But not without grieving along the way.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

What I didn't know then was that God was about to use this very thing to lift a completely different weight.

I was carrying more than one weight.

Because while I was learning to live in a new body, there was a number that kept getting bigger.

That student loan balance followed me everywhere. I can't tell you how many years I spent in shame over a number that wouldn't stop growing. I felt ineligible for marriage. I felt taken advantage of. I even think it's part of the reason a guy broke up with me one time. (No shade to him. I understand.)

And I mean growing. It started around $90k. Then I looked up and it was $100k. Then $120k. Then $165k. It was designed to grow faster than I could ever catch it, and had God not stepped in, who knows what that number would be today.

I felt like there was no way I would ever pay it off. And the truth is, I wouldn't have. I would have needed a miracle.

So I prayed. God, help me. Show me a strategy. Increase my income. I felt absolutely helpless.

I was asking for a strategy. God had a miracle in mind. And He chose the most random way to show me.

God can use a 1 a.m. scroll.

So what had happened was...

One night, around 1 a.m., I was doomscrolling on Instagram. (Don't judge me.) And I scrolled past a video of a young woman saying her student loans had just been completely forgiven. She held up her letter. It said: Total and Permanent Disability Discharge.

I sat there. A little curious. So I looked it up.

The website said you could qualify one of three ways:

- You were already receiving, or approved for, disability benefits

- You were a veteran

- You had a letter from a medical professional

I paused. I had never considered that chronic fatigue could be considered a disability. I had never applied for disability benefits, so how could I possibly qualify? And I am definitely not a veteran.

But that letter from a medical professional... hmm.

Was I totally and permanently disabled? I wasn't sure. What I did know is that chronic fatigue had forever changed the quality of my life and my ability to earn. The same diagnosis I had grieved for years might be the very thing that qualified me.

So I looked at the form. The next day, I talked to my doctor. Then I just kept taking the next step.

The form was about two pages.

That's it.

Then I waited. For months.

And then came the email.

Until January 13, 2026, when those six words finally showed up:

Your TPD discharge has been approved.

Two pages. A signature from my doctor. And just like that, $165k was gone. Permanently cleared.

A debt I owed but could never pay, wiped out through the very thing I thought had taken so much from me.

What was sent to destroy me, God used.

Never in a million years would I have imagined that the very thing the enemy sent to destroy me, God would look at and say, "I'll allow it." And not just allow it, but use it for His glory.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good" (Genesis 50:20).

That's when Romans 8:28 came alive for me in a whole new way: "in all things God works for the good of those who love him." All things. Even the diagnosis. Even the no's. God's no's are still better for us. Sometimes they're the very best thing for our lives.

And when I tell you I understood the gospel that much more. Because that is exactly what Jesus did for us. We owed a debt we could never pay. It kept growing. We needed a miracle.

"He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross" (Colossians 2:13-14).

On the cross, Jesus said, "It is finished" (John 19:30). Paid. In. Full.

But here's the part I didn't expect.

Being forgiven changes the way you live.

Here's the gag: I still have debt. Other debt that I'm working toward eliminating completely. But the healing in this situation is that God is using that for His glory too. Better money management. Strategy. Gratitude.

I started cutting out superfluous living and unnecessary spending like never before, because now I feel even more responsible to be a good steward of the miracle I just received. How could I intentionally mismanage money when God had just worked a miracle in my life in that very area?

I feel the same way about the gospel. I am compelled to live holy because of what He did for me. Holy, not perfect. Submitted, not without blemish. I'm going to make mistakes. But because He paid my debt in more ways than one, I am compelled by the lovingkindness of the Lord to live rightly before Him, even when I struggle.

"For Christ's love compels us" (2 Corinthians 5:14).

Which is exactly why I need to say this next part carefully.

This is not a prosperity story.

Student loan debt is a terrible evil, and not everyone will find a way out. I'm not saying everybody and they mama is going to qualify for TPD. If you're still carrying that weight, I see you, and I am not here to make your story feel small.

And let me be honest about the healing part too, because I still live with chronic fatigue.

God can heal instantly, right here, right now. He can also heal by inviting you to participate in your own restoration. (Ask me how I know.) And sometimes He says, "Yes, I will heal you, but it will be in heaven." In every case, healing is a promise we will absolutely experience, one way or the other. No matter what the enemy throws our way, the Lord says, "Watch this." Then He uses it all for His glory and our good, eventually, either here on earth or on the other side of heaven.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain" (Revelation 21:4).

Which brings me back to the money.

It's about the money. And it's not.

This story is both about the money and not about the money, all at the same time.

Things need to be made right here on earth as a picture of how we're promised they will be made right in eternity. Jesus taught us to pray, "your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" (Matthew 6:10). We're just not in control of the how or the when. But that doesn't absolve us of the responsibility to do our best to bring heaven to earth here and now. That's for our own good, and especially for the good of our neighbors who get taken advantage of by systems like predatory student loans: the widow, the fatherless, the poor, the incarcerated, the foreigner. The list goes on.

So no, this isn't about prosperity. It's about flourishing holistically because of the gospel. Whether God does it now or later, He will do it. I believe that. And I'm letting that assurance bring me peace and compel me to live like it's true until He comes.

When you put your trust in our God, our great Father, our great King, you ARE totally and permanently forgiven of your sins. No form required. No waiting on an approval status. It's already done.

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Want to see if you qualify?

Sis, I'm not giving any financial advice here. But in case you want to check your eligibility, here's the link for TPD:

studentaid.gov/tpd-discharge

Sources: U.S. Department of Education, "How To Qualify and Apply for Total and Permanent Disability (TPD) Discharge," studentaid.gov/articles/tpd. WTOP, "Student Loan Disability Discharge: Here's What You Need to Know," August 2026, wtop.com.